Announcing the 4th Edition of “Creating Your Nearly Paperless Office”

creatingyournearlypaperlessoffice-4thedition-frontcoverI am happy to announce the 4th edition of this popular book about how to create a nearly paperless office. Updates include more suggested uses for the scanning, storing, and safeguarding of all of your important paper. More importantly this edition covers the use of the latest versions of PaperPort 14.5 and Windows 10.

A special edition of this book now ships with the Xerox Digital Desktop Organizer, Xerox Digital Personal Organizer, and Visioneer Mobile Organizer.

As before, this edition is availability for the Kindle and in print. So now not only can you read this book on your Kindle or other electronic device, but you can have a printed physical book to hold on to. Yes, I know, it’s paper, but hey, we’re still going to use some paper for a while.

Available on Amazon.

Star Wars Landspeeder™ Orange 5 Pc Twin Panel Bed with Engine Storage Night Tables   – Beds Colors

For only $900 you can pamper your little Jedis with their own landspeeder. When I was single this would have been my on my bachelor pad’s furniture list. On second thought, I might never have attracted a wife if I had this hovering in my bedroom. Five light sabers up!

Star Wars< i> Landspeeder™ Orange 5 Pc Twin Panel Bed withEngine Storage Night Tables .899.99. 92L x 75W x 45.6H. Find affordable Beds for your home that will complement the rest of your furniture.  #iSofa #roomstogo

Source: Star Wars Landspeeder™ Orange 5 Pc Twin Panel Bed with Engine Storage Night Tables   – Beds Colors

Short Story: Luckier

Luckier

By Glenn R. Cameron

                Michael Trivet lugged his portly frame back into the grocery store through the gloomy drizzle. His wife of twenty-two years was waiting in the ancient Monte Carlo in the parking lot. They had just loaded their groceries into the back seat and not the trunk because the trunk latch was, kind of funny.

When they got seated and ready to go home to their rather shabby townhouse style apartment Janie noticed that the three lottery tickets were still in the car’s cassette player slot. The cassette player hadn’t been able to play tapes for ages but the little springy door grabbed the occasional note, grocery list, and now, lottery tickets for safe keeping.

Janie was of the school of thought that taught, “Let’s check to see if we have any winners right away,” while Michael preferred to live in the fantasy that, “Until we check the tickets and find out for certain that we’re not millionaires, then we might be millionaires.”

“Janie was lovely she was the queen of my nights,” Michael hummed quietly to himself. “Was,” he confirmed to himself again as he moved forward in the line.

The counter lady chirped, “I can help whose next.”

Michael leaned on the counter and fanned the lotto tickets. “I’m sure at least one of these is worth millions,” he smiled at his own worn out joke. He was sure she had laughed at it before.

“You can scan them yourself at the next station,” she smiled helpfully and nodded to her left. “The scanner is new!”

Michael moved to his right and tried first one end then the other of one of his tickets under the scanner’s laser. Finally he saw, Not a Winner on the display when one of his tickets finally scanned successfully. “I’ll try not to take that personally,” he thought to himself.

The second ticket scanned and the display flashed, Loser. “Oh come on!” he muttered, “That’s rude!” The third ticket was more crumpled than the rest. It took him several tries before the display finally, grudgingly it seemed, proclaimed Michael a, Jackpot Winner.

Michael blinked. “How much did I win?” he mumbled quietly to himself. He had used these scanners at other stores but on the rare occasions he won anything the display said, $2.00 or $5.00, and one time, $20.00.

He scanned the ticket again. Jackpot Winner, it said. Jackpot? Really? He looked around. No one was paying him any attention. He furtively scanned the ticket a third time. Jackpot Winner.

Michael’s heart was racing now. He slowly made his way toward the store entrance, his ears were ringing slightly and he felt like he was walking through a tunnel. This must be what it feels like to faint he thought. This made him a bit panicky and he gripped the lotto tickets tighter, afraid he would pass out and let them drop to the floor.

He bumped into one of the Sensormatic security scanners that flanked the entranceway and reached out to steady himself. A mile away through his darkening vision but in reality right next to the security scanner was a courtesy scooter for handicapped shoppers. He sprawled over the large basket on the front of the scooter then managed to collapse into the seat.

He was hyperventilating at this point and he saw bright sparks in his nearly blacked out vision. I’m passing out, he thought, then he blacked out.

He regained consciousness almost immediately. He had slid out of the scooter’s seat and was now sitting on the floor and leaning against it.

A concerned store manager type of face was hovering close by. “Are you alright sir?” the face said. The name tag under the face read Carl and under that it proclaimed, Assistant Manager. On a ribbon pinned under the name tag proclaimed the store’s slogan, Our prices are out of this world!

Carl said again, “Are you alright sir? Are you hurt? Should I call an ambulance?” Carl looked genuinely concerned. Michael was touched.

Michael managed, “I’m okay.” He looked at his hands and saw that he had indeed dropped his tickets but to his great relief they had landed in his lap.

Carl reached out toward Michael who thought that he was reaching for the lotto tickets. Michael desperately grabbed the tickets and folded them with his arms protectively over his chest.

“Can I help you up sir?” asked Carl eagerly. His former concern now seemed more about how this looked to the other customers rather than how Michael was feeling. Michael pulled his feet toward his rump, heaved his torso forward, and offered an elbow to Carl who was pulling him to his feet.

Michael staggered slightly and sat down properly in the scooter again. “I just need a minute.”

Carl now seemed a bit impatient but kept his words courteous. “Is there anything I can do for you? Do you need some sugar or something?” he asked wondering if Michael was diabetic.

Michael shook his head. “I’ll be fine.” He looked through the front window of the store and between this week’s super sales he could see his old car and his “old lady.”

Carl now looked around at the other shoppers and seemed relieved that no one was paying them any mind. His tone returned to it’s former professional measure. “If you’ll follow me I would like to offer you some complementary store vouchers. If we can resolve this now and amicably I don’t think we need to get any lawyers involved.”

“What?” asked Michael distract by an emerging idea. “Lawyers?”

“Please,” said Carl, “I’m sure we can resolve any complaints you may have. You don’t seem to be hurt.”

Michael turned his head back to Carl and noticed that this assistant manager looked barely old enough to drink. “I promise you sir, our floors are normally very clean. We’ll get that water mopped up instantly.” He waved over one of the produce stockers.

“Rick, I need you to get this water mopped up right away,” Carl snapped. “Keep a better eye on things. This gentleman slipped and fell just now.”

“But,” said Michael.

“But,” said Rick.

“It’s okay sir. Rick will get it cleaned up,” said Carl. “I have a $50 store voucher over here at the courtesy desk. Please walk this way.”

“If I could walk that way…” quipped Michael.

“Hm?” asked Carl.

“Nothing. Old joke.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Actually,” said Michael, “can you point me to the back door?”

Carl blinked. “Pardon me sir?”

“The back door. Can I use it?” Michael asked. He could still see the car and Janie. She would be walking in at any minute wondering what was taking him so long. “I’d like to go out the back door if you don’t mind. I’m parked over at the next shopping plaza and don’t think I’m up to walking around this strip mall again.” Michael rubbed one hip with his hand.

Carl paled a bit and answered, “Yes of course sir. Let me get you that voucher.”

“No don’t worry about that. Give it to the next person who walks in. Really. I just want to go,” he almost said “home” but he realized at that moment he had no intention of going home again. “To a meeting I’m late for.”

Carl was nonplussed. “Yes sir, I’ll be happy to show you the way.” He started toward the back of the store. But first he instructed the bright and bubbly counter-girl April to give a $50.00 store voucher to the next person who entered the store.

April for her part didn’t even look surprised. “Sure Carl. Whatever you want.” Michael started to follow Carl and noticed that he didn’t see Janie in the car any more. He quickened his pace and overtook Carl. “Is it this way?” he asked.

Carl paused in his step but quickly caught up with Michael, “Yes sir. We’re going to turn right at the end of the aisle.”

At the end of the aisle they turned right and Michael relaxed a tad. He wasn’t in view of the courtesy desk any more so Janie wouldn’t be able to see him and follow him. Carl ushered him through the swinging rubber doors that led to the back rooms of the store.

They came to an exit and Michael virtually burst through into… sunshine. Was it sunny when he walked in? He thanked Carl and turned toward the neighboring shopping plaza. On the other side of that he knew was a bus station.

Carl returned to the front of the store and saw April giving a $50.00 store voucher to a mousy looking middle aged woman wearing a faded Bob Segar t-shirt. April cheerily said to the woman, “And this is our manager on duty who authorized this special prize today. Carl, this is Janie Trivet, our big winner today.”

Janie was fairly jumping for joy. “I can’t believe it. I never win anything. My husband will be thrilled!”

 

 

 

Bedding a Nerd, Part Duex

Bed strata

Bed strata

Shucks! Another cool set of bed sheets I would have loved as a kid. Maybe my future grandkids will like these. Your little angels will learn about the earth’s layers from core to crust. There are even star constellations to show them which way is up.

http://www.landofnod.com/all-new/new/to-the-center-of-the-bedding/f17376

 

Nerd Eclipse-a-palooza!

We just had an eclipse of the sun the other day, March 20, 2015. Astrophotographer Thierry Legault wasn’t satisfied just capturing images of the eclipse, he also caught the International Space Station passing in front of the sun, and the moon…during the eclipse. This guy is an astrophotography rock star!

Thierry Legault Captures ISS Transit of the Sun — During Eclipse!.

Announcing The 3rd Edition of “Creating Your Nearly Paperless Office”

CreatingYourNearlyPaperlessOffice-3rdEdition-Book CoverI am happy to announce the 3rd edition of this popular book about how to create a nearly paperless office. Updates include more suggested uses for the scanning, storing, and safeguarding of all of your important paper. More importantly this edition covers the use of the latest versions of PaperPort 14 and Windows 8.

A special edition of this book now ships with the Xerox Digital Desktop Organizer, Xerox Digital Personal Organizer, and Visioneer Mobile Organizer.

New with this addition is the availability of a printed version. So now not only can you read this book on your Kindle or other electronic device, but you can have a printed physical book to hold on to. Yes, I know, it’s paper, but hey, we’re still going to use some paper for a while.

Available on Amazon.

Nerd Press Release

I’m pleased to announce that Visioneer is publicizing my book, Creating Your Nearly Paperless Office: 2nd Edition, on their web site here and here. In addition Visioneer will soon be shipping a special edition of my book with three new, as yet unannounced, scanners. Two of the scanners will carry the Visioneer name and one the Xerox name. I’ve been working with Visioneer for the past several months and it’s all very nearly ready to go. Woo hoo!

Nerd Division

The Bots are Getting Along

So if the Daleks and the droids can get along, why not the fans?

Looks like a couple of Sci-Fi convention organizers were ready to rumble in Norwich England. A nerd from the Norwich Sci Fi Club and another nerd from the Norwich Star Wars Club had words at the latter’s convention. Some words were exchanged but nothing else and still the constables were called.

Police are called to row at Norwich sci-fi convention | The Sun |News

The nerd who called the cops claimed he was assaulted but security video said otherwise. That’s all, nothing more to see here.

Mainly I loved seeing R2D2 rubbing shoulders with the Daleks.

Bedding a Nerd

Realistic-Astronaut-Bed-SetI wish I had this bedspread and pillowcase when I was watching Neil Armstrong walk on the moon a jillion years ago. I would buy it now but it’s only available in twin size. Alas.

This out-of-this-world product is available from an Amsterdam company called SNURK Bedding.

On second thought, it might be good for keeping warm in front of the television while I’m watching Star Trek reruns.

Mooning Nerds

Some nerds like me stare slack-jawed at the sky. But no matter how much I stare I’m not going to see Pluto’s smallest moons currently dubbed P4 and P5. I can’t even manage it in my telescope. For that I need the Hubble Space Telescope.

However, I can contribute to renaming them. P4 and P5 just doesn’t lend enough dignity to the dwarf planet Pluto, formerly known as a planet. The guys and gals at SETI, Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence, have set up the Pluto Rocks web site on which you can vote for what they should be renamed. The rules are that the names must come from Greek or Roman mythology and must be related to Hades and the underworld.

My vote was for Cerberus and Styx.

Pluto Rocks!

PS: For you fans of the Disney movie Hercules I have already checked. Pain and Panic were not truly sidekicks for Hades. Turns out Phobos and Deimos would work but those names are already taken for the moons of Mars.